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TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR LIFE November 2004

by Buhle Dlamini

Let there be no doubt: as long as you continue to blame others instead of assuming your responsibilities, you will make no meaningful and enduring change for the better. -- Gary Ryan Blair

We live in the blame generation, if something goes wrong we look for someone to blame. We have become so good at blaming others for everything that happens that we never take any responsibility. We create reasons why we are not living our full potential so that we can hide behind these false facades and never take responsibility. It is much easier to blame our parents, our teachers and our society than to stand up and fight for our God-given potential. You were born with great potential for the benefit of the world and yourself in fulfilling your God-given purpose. You are responsible for making sure that this potential is activated and that you live up to what you were meant you to become. Start taking responsibility of your life now while you are still young so that you will be all that you can be. “My philosophy is that not only are you responsible for your life, but doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.”-- Oprah Winfrey
Start taking responsibility for your future. Not only that, but also become an example to others while you are at it. How you live your life will say a lot about your future. Start realizing that your future depends on what you do with your life now. The decisions you make today will determine the kind of future you will have tomorrow. Think about the things that will contribute positively to your future and that of others. Instead of blaming your parents or people around you for influencing you badly you can be a good influence on them.

Look at your life, the way you speak the way you love and your faith in God. In these areas, who is in control? Is it other people and circumstances or is it you with God’s help that is in control. When you watch TV who is in control? When you hang out with friends; who is in control of your tongue and how you speak? When it comes to managing your time and yourself who is in control?

Sure enough circumstances and your background can definitely make it hard for you sometimes but ultimately you to need to take responsibility for those things that you can. Many people have risen from horrible backgrounds and became pillars of society and contributed greatly to the world. They all took responsibility for their lives and with God’s help continued to live successful lives. If you want activate your potential you have got to stop the blame game and look within.

What areas are you still struggling with now? Do you continue to do things you know you shouldn’t? Are you committed to put an end to laziness, procrastination (putting things off and never getting to do them) and following the wrong crowd etc? Get with the program or be left behind. I encourage you to think deeply about this and then act.

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Dying Empty – Maximizing Life! 21 October 2004

Buhle Dlamini

“The wealthiest place on earth is not the Gold mines of the world, not the Diamond mines of the world it is not the Oilfields of the world it is not even the Platinum mines of the world. The wealthiest place on earth is the cemetery because buried in the cemetery are dreams that died as dreams, songs that were never sung, poetry that was never written, books that were never written and Businesses that were never incorporated. What a tragedy the wealth of the cemetery!” Dr Myles Munroe

Last Friday I had an opportunity to go and listen to Dr Myles Munroe, Pastor of Bahamas faith Ministries and Internationally renowned speaker and author. I was not feeling well at all but I had to use this opportunity to go and listen to him. I was very much intrigued as he shared on Vision and how that is tied to us living the life we were destined to live. This set me thinking a lot about the things that I have been talking and writing about lately. I believe that one of the reasons I wake up every morning and take a good dose of that fresh air, while the blood in my veins travels thousands of miles and I use millions of brain cells, is to fulfil my purpose. Everything I do must someone contribute to that purpose for which I was born. Understanding this helps me to put things into perspective. I am not a mistake or a result of some random reaction that happened by chance. There are things that I have to contribute by living my life to the full. If I fail to realise this, I become a possible candidate to invest to the wealth of the cemetery.

In other words a life that is fully lived is one where I die empty having given all that I can give to make the world a better place by using my talents to serve others. This is a far cry from the popular culture that says it is all about what I can get all I can accumulate. This is a challenge for you and me to realise that unless we live fully and contribute all that we can, we will not know what it means to die empty, without regrets.

How can I die empty? You ask. How can one really maximize living, where life has a purpose, and it is exciting to wake up in the morning? As I have said it before you need to be clear about your dream, that one thing that you are passionate about and would give your all to. It was Martin Luther King, Jnr that said “If you have not found something you will stand for you will fall for anything.” Until such time that you know that you are moving towards your purpose you continue to wander in life. You need to look deep within yourself and start moving towards your purpose and your dream.

In the process of maximising your life there are many resources that you will have to utilise to reach your dreams and your potential. What you do with the resources that are available to you will determine Who you’ll become, What you’ll accomplish and Where you’ll go and end up in life. Perhaps the three resources that are usually in your control are these:

Time: A millionaire and a beggar on the street corner both have the same 24 hours in a day. The things they do in those 24 hours, sets their lives on totally different courses. What are you doing with your time?

Money: Money is a resource that we all wish we had more of. In our preoccupation with having more of it we fail to use what we have towards our goals and purpose.

Energy: This resource diminishes over time, the energy that you have in your youth won’t be there when you are 80. So how will you use the energy you have now.

I want to die empty, I want to live to the maximum, I want to make a difference and contribute with all that I have. I realise that to do that I have to be faithful with the little that I have been entrusted with now, it is amazing how the little becomes much. What about you?

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Focus on Your Attitude and Success will follow 14 October 04

By Buhle Dlamini

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, then circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think, say, or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you. We are in charge of our attitudes.” Rev. Charles Swindoll

Isn’t true that most things that happen to us are out of our control? A guy that cuts you off in the traffic or the sickness that comes upon you unexpectedly and even the bad news concerning the company you work for closing down. You don’t plan for things like that to happen but as long as we continue to breathe, the unexpected will continue to happen. In many ways we are not in control of the universe, and the quicker we understand and accept that the better. We are however in control of our attitude as you can see from the quote by Rev. Charles Swindoll above. Your attitude is that part of you that allows you to choose what your response is going to be in any given situation and that is completely under your control. We don’t like to hear this very much because we sometimes don’t like to take the responsibility that comes with that statement.

We can spend the rest of our lives complaining about our share in life. Being born in this poor family instead of that, having this job instead of that, having these weaknesses and so on it goes. If we do this we have chosen the attitude of complaining and dissatisfaction. We can choose a different attitude as well. Maybe instead of complaining we can start to focus what we can be thankful and grateful for in life, those little things that make your life worth living. This shift in focus isn’t easy especially if you are surrounded by people who enjoy grumbling about things. When you take time to appreciate what you do have instead of complaining about what you lack a great change can take place in how fulfilled your life becomes.

Here is a quote that drives the message home:

"If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the host of heaven and earth will pause to say, here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well." Martin Luther King Jr., Source Unknown

What is your attitude towards life? Are you doing what you know you are called to do with all the passion and energy that you can muster? Or are you wasting time and energy in the wrong things that won’t bring you any closer to reaching neither your dreams nor your potential? The choice is yours to make, your attitude is under your control and whatever choice you make will determine your success or lack it. We will all make mistakes from time to time as we allow emotions to take over our ability to choose our response but that is no excuse. Focus on your attitude and success will follow, after all it’s your choice to make.

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11 Powerful Ways to Expand Your Life This Year 07 October 2004
Jim Cathcart, CSP, CPAE

Define your future. Describe the life you'd like to live. The future you see defines the person you'll need to be. Identify the traits and qualities you'd like to acquire. Think bigger than yourself. An acorn that only thinks as an acorn will never become a mighty oak. Stretch yourself. You are undoubtedly capable of more than you ever dreamed is possible for you.
Become the person who would achieve your goals. As you develop the skills, knowledge, relationships and demeanor of the 'future you,' your goals will be the natural byproduct of your growth. Spend an extra hour each day in the study of your chosen field.
Give more than you must. Nothing advances until somebody does more than they are paid to do. Always deliver more value than others expect. Don't require others to acknowledge your generosity. Give with 'class.'
Make time for what you love. If you don't live fully, you deny the world your potential contributions. Your 'play' sometimes contributes as much as your 'work.' What you love reveals the value you bring to the world.
Refine your Inner Circle . We define ourselves through our key relationships. Explore the mix and depth of those with whom you spend most of your time. Release those who limit you and connect with those who can help you live more fully.
Resolve your unfinished business. Either deal with it or discard it. Say your apologies, face your fears, pay your debts, express your gratitude and get on with living. Don't let yesterday drain value from today and tomorrow. Break out of the limited world of your past and start to grow.
Rethink existing habits and routines. Describe your typical day and then reconsider every aspect of it. Change or expand the places you go, people you see, things you do, and the time you devote to each. Try new things. Learn a new language, go someplace different, do some things you'd typically pass by. Find out what your possibilities really are.
Lighten up. Stop stressing over things that only matter to you emotionally. When life isn't fair to you, get over it quickly. Take your misfortunes as 'course corrections' rather than 'catastrophes.' Let go so you can grow.
Tighten up. Sloppiness in life allows more variables to creep in and spoil your plans. Stay on target, increase your self-discipline, master the art of self-motivation. Sometimes details matter a lot.
Profile yourself. Keep a journal of your goals, concerns, fears, and dreams. Review it at least once a year. Look for patterns that reveal your core values, natural velocity, natural intelligences and recurring situations. Realize how life ebbs and flows for you. Notice the natural cycles of life. Know yourself.
Invest in yourself. Set aside a portion of each year's income to acquire new tools and teachers to increase your potential. Refine your systems, get expert coaching, attend special conferences, cultivate a study group, appoint a board of advisors. You are your only true asset. Send part of today ahead to the person you'll be in the future.

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Jim Cathcart, CSP, CPAE is founder and president of Cathcart Institute, Inc. and one of the most widely recognized professional speakers in the world and also the author of 13 books and scores of recorded programs, his students number in the hundreds of thousands.

Conditions to your Potential 02 October 2004

By Buhle Dlamini

By now you must be aware that one of my consuming passions is helping people, especially young people, to realise and activate their God-given potential. Activating your potential is more than the hype brought on by motivational speakers and even great books. It is real work.

There are all kinds of products that are on sale out there. TV adverts tell you of a product that allows you to eat all the bad food you want and still loose weight. In today’s world people want to live unhealthy lives and still remain healthy. Some people want to remain lazy but still earn a lot of money, and hence there are many scams out there that promise to make people rich by doing nothing. This is not what realizing and activating your potential is about. If you are to become a young man or woman that you were created to be, you need to understand the conditions that are tied to your potential. Every action you take has a result and living up to your potential is greatly dependent on the actions you take. As you sow, so shall you reap. You cannot expect grapes from an apple tree or apples from a vine. Mushrooms only grow in damp, dark places and certain fruits only grow in tropical conditions. There needs to be certain factors that are just right and conducive for your potential to be released. Some people ignore these conditions and enjoy temporary success.

To activate your potential, you need to look at a few results you are getting from doing the things you are currently doing. Whatever you are getting now is a result of what you are doing and as long as you keep doing what you are doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. I know that this is so simple it is not even worth mentioning or perhaps you’ve heard it too many times before but maybe you need to hear it again. My dictionary described Potential as the inherent capacity for growth or development, in other words, capable of being but not yet in existence. This means that as you read this you might have the potential to be something more than you are now. Maybe you are a potential bestselling author, a business man/women, a potential doctor with a cure for HIV/Aids! Now the question is what have you been doing to release your potential? Have you done anything? Have you even thought of the possibilities? If so what have you done with those thoughts?

If you will live up to your God-given Potential you need to let go of the old way of thinking, your old way of doing things and break free from the habits that have kept you captive to your current position. Think about it! If you started to invest more time on the things you are really passionate about imagine what could be the results? If you started to invest more of your resources on your dreams even those dreams that seem impossible to you now, what would be the result? Only you can answer that when start investing. My life is just about that - activating my potential, the more I have invested, the more I have reaped great results and I don’t want to stop.

This week I showcased my speaking abilities for Corporate Speakers International and got my name entered among the top speakers in the country. Things like that don’t just happen as some of us may think when we see some people succeed and living their dreams. Get rid of the quick results for the least effort mentality and start investing on your potential.

You might need to let go of a few things that you are currently holding on to. You will never fully experience the best for your life if you hold on to these things. If you want your hands to be filled with treasures that you were meant to have, you’ve got to let go of the rubbish you are clutching in your hands right now. Mediocrity will keep you holding on to the things you’ve been holding on to so you never reach out for what you could become. Take time to identify some areas where you are still conforming to the world around you and start to transform your mind today. Remember that every decision that you take has a direct impact on your potential and your future.